Walking With God

Author: Andy Stanley

Quick Summary

Life is a balance between family and work.  And we all constantly have to make choices to either to make family a priority or work.  This book is a wake up call to make you realize that ever time you choose work over family, you deteriorate your relationship with them.  The core takeaway is to choose family over work, or in the end you may not have a family to choose.

Key Insights

• The irony is that both work and family originate with the same Source: God. He created them to peacefully coexist. The tension between the two is understandable, but it is not unavoidable. Whenever there is destructive tension between two things that are designed to work together, it usually points to "operator error. (kindle location 148)
• You do your job. You love your family. It is when we reverse the order that the tension escalates and the tug of war begins. (kindle location 166)
• If you don’t actively choose to make family a priority, then work will become your priority. 
• God will not fill the gap you leave when you are not at home.
• If you aren’t more than a paycheck to your family (workaholic), then one day you may be asked to only be a paycheck to your family (divorced).
• Be aware that your family will support you in choosing work over them due to a fear of rejection.  This doesn’t mean you should choose work over family.  This means you need to spend more time with family because they are insecure in the fact that you love them.
• Good intentions do not equal good actions.

Personal Application

1. I will make being home for supper a priority. While I may not make it 100% of the time, it will be the norm. 
2. When I am working from home and my children interrupt my work, I will not instantly shoo them out of the room.  I will stop what I am doing, given them my full undivided attention.  This really only happens a couple of times a day.  I do this for people at work far more frequently, why not for my children?
3. When I come home from work, I will show my family how much I love them instead of showing how much work takes out of me.

Meaningful Quotes

• What it boils down to is this: Someone is going to get cheated. Worse yet, somebody is going to feel cheated. Somebody is going to feel as if I am not giving them what they deserve or need. The issue is never, "Am I cheating?" The issue is always, "Where am I cheating?" Or, "Where am I choosing to cheat?" (kindle location 99)
• You can break a rule, but you can’t break a principle (kindle location 114)
• The irony is that both work and family originate with the same Source: God. He created them to peacefully coexist. The tension between the two is understandable, but it is not unavoidable. Whenever there is destructive tension between two things that are designed to work together, it usually points to "operator error." (kindle location 148)
• Before sin, before the fall of man, before the curse, there was work. (kindle location 152)
• Work is about doing. Family is about being. The members of my congregation want me to show up prepared to speak. My family is happy if I just show up. (kindle location 162)
• (See Genesis 3:16, which implies that Eve would have a desire to rule Adam, but in fact, he would rule over her.) (kindle location 169)
• The rewards are tangible, progress is measurable, and the accolades are notable. Before long we aren't working to support our families. We are working to support something far less virtuous-our egos. (kindle location 179)
• But over time your focus has shifted from the relationship side of staying at home to the task side. You measure your success in terms of neatness, cleanliness, organization, and efficiency. (kindle location 183)
• your Creator does not define your life by your career achievements or the neatness of your pantry. (kindle location 193)
• Contentment is found neither in the marketplace nor the family alone. It is found when we align our priorities with His as it relates to both areas of responsibility. (kindle location 195)
• Because of our proclivity to veer in the direction of things that stroke our egos, we tend to cheat at home. We give an inordinate amount of our time, energy, and passion to our work. (kindle location 203)
• In the world of relationships we live with the illusion that good intentions-the desire of our hearts-somehow heal the wounds we have created with our absence and misprioritization. (kindle location 211)
• The answer is simple. But it is simple in the way that telling a smoker the solution to his addiction is to stop smoking. It is simple. It is true. But it is not easy to do. (kindle location 226)
• Granted. They may be your priority, but that's not my point. They want to feel like your priority. It is not enough for them to be your priority. They must feel like it. (kindle location 322)
• "The problem is, you love your family in your heart, but you don't love them in your schedule. And they can't see your heart." (kindle location 325)
• Taking the time to figure a woman out makes her feel valued. (kindle location 370)
• To facilitate your husband or wife's misprioritization is to add to your own dysfunction. (location 441)
• Submission has nothing to do with fulfilling a role you were not designed to fill. That's not submission. That's emotional suicide. God isn't going to honor that. (kindle location 447)
• We are instructed to do our jobs and love our families (see Colossians 3:23). When you love your job and do your family, you've not only stepped outside the bounds of family life, you have stepped outside the will of God. (kindle location 621)
• I had seen way too many pastors sacrifice their family under the guise of doing "the Lord's work" when in fact it had little to do with the Lord's work and more to do with propping up their own egos. (kindle location 707)
• I have all the negative potential of any other father, husband, or pastor. (kindle location 710)